Inappropriate Conduct? Me?
by Please.Insert.Name
Summary: Emily has had enough of Hotch being... well Hotch. With the help of the team will she get him to loosen up, or will it all end in a Sexual Harassment seminar?
1. Chapter 1

She gazed at the coffee mug, the ceramic white shining in the light of the darkened office. It was plain, nondescript and told nothing of its owner. _'Just the way he would want it'_ she thought, smiling slightly in spite of herself. Moving around the desk, she hovered above the neatly stacked files afraid in case she caused an avalanche, that would be a great thing to have to explain to your boss _"Yeah I came here to check out your stuff and ended up destroying it, please don't make me get a psych eval, honestly I'm sane!"_

Looking at the neat desk she had to conclude that Aaron Hotchner was a mystery. Everything he did cloaked behind the mask of 'protocol' and 'line of duty'. Even after working with him for years she could barely read the man. He had successfully separated his personal and professional self…

Wait, that's not true.

She remembered his reaction to Hailey's death, what happened when she stumbled up him: bloody and just having beaten a man to death. That alone had been enough to shock her, to shake her ability to compartmentalise and make her see what happened when personal and professional lives crashed together. Seeing Hotch like that, the wild look in his eyes as Morgan told him it was over had made her realise that there was more to the man than she thought. He needed someone to help him open up, to move on. Maybe she wasn't the right person but there weren't many options, and she was sure Morgan, Reid or Rossi never thought of him in _that_ way. That was just, for want of a better word, ew.

"Emily?" Hotch sounded surprised, closing the door gently behind him, "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to hand in my write up of the Myers case," replied Emily smoothly, handing over the report.

"Thanks," said Hotch, placing it on his desk, "Is everything alright?" His eyes darkened slightly with worry. Typical, worried about her and not himself.

"Yes," said Emily, injecting a little confusion into her voice. She should have known he would see through her lie. It probably never helped that the file showed signs of damage indicating it hadn't actually been done a few minutes ago. She was going to kill Morgan…

"Sorry, what?" asked Emily, coming back to the land of the conscious and realising Hotch was in the middle of saying something.

"I was just saying that we are due a few days leave and to make the most of it," repeated Hotch, smiling slightly at her dazed expression.

"I always do," she said with a smile, hearing him chuckle before turning his attention to his reports. Opening the door she descended into the bullpen, seeing Morgan throw a paper airplane at Reid.

"Actually if you decrease the volume of ink it should fly better, the ink, although to us weighs almost nothing, on a paper airplane can hamper flight quite significantly," said Reid, twirling the plane in his hands - Morgan had drawn smiley faces on the wings.

"Says the guy with three PhD's," teased Morgan, making another, being sure to add extra ink.

"Oh hey Emily, what did you want with Hotch?" asked Reid, noticing her presence for the first time.

"I had to hand in files and he said we were due some leave," replied Emily, sitting at her desk and seeing crumpled up bits of paper - no doubt prototypes for the planes Morgan was taking great delight in throwing at Reid.

"Did I just hear all the women in Quantico sigh in relief?" asked Morgan smugly.

"More like in resignation," interjected Reid, earning another plane from Morgan.

"Hey, no need to wound me like that Reid," retorted Morgan, grabbing his heart dramatically.

"No! No way! I did not just see you throw that at my junior g-man!" came Garcia's voice, walking through the door seconds later.

"It was Prentiss!" defended Morgan quickly, cowering slightly at the sight of their technical analyst.

"Well let me just pull up the CCTV and we'll see about that," said Garcia sweetly, poison lacing her words.

"What are you doing here Garcia?" asked Emily, drawing her wrath away from him.

"You. Me. Lunch. Now," said Garcia by way of an answer.

"If I refuse?" asked Emily, knowing she wouldn't but curious as to what the bubbly young woman would do. After Morgan's pay check had 'disappeared' for a few weeks they were all quite wary of her and her flamingo shaped pens.

"You know that dress you've wanted for ages but not really had anything to wear it to?" asked Garcia.

"Yes," of course she meant that tight fitting red dress she had had her eye on.

"It might be temporarily out of stock around about the time of your mother's birthday," threatened Garcia.

"I'm coming," said Emily quickly, much to Morgan's relief and Reid's amusement.

* * *

><p>Sitting in the cosy restaurant, Emily poked her pasta with a fork, waiting for the thing to crawl off her plate and head for the hills. The place had good service but the food… the less said the better. Emily was sure that even she could cook something better than this - judging by what she did to her porridge that morning that was saying something.<p>

"So, Emily I know what you're planning for our fearless leader come the holidays," said Garcia, taking a sip of her strawberry and kiwi smoothie. Her voice was so calm that it took Emily a few moments to realise what she had said.

"Excuse me?"

"I know that you plan to force him to_ 'unwind'_ and I want to help you," Emily caught the smirk lacing the word unwind and grimaced.

"Am I that obvious?" she asked, a slight blush forming over her cheeks.

"I only know because JJ told me," confessed Garcia, "She thought you could use a little help." As much as she wanted to kill the blonde media liaison officer she knew she was right. Emily had no idea how to do this bar going to Hotch's house and saying_ "Hi can I come in? Great, now how about we talk about your dead ex-wife and how I want to fuck your brains out."_ No, she could never, ever do that. Even thinking about it made her cringe.

"And you want to help how?" asked Emily, wondering where the technical analyst was taking this.

"Well… I was thinking about organising a little team night out," said Garcia.

"Meaning you already have," translated Emily, smiling a little at her friend's eagerness.

"I _may_ have already okayed it with Jessica," said Garcia, a guilty look flashing across her features.

"So what are we going to do then?" asked Emily, feeling there was more to the plan than this. She was right.

"I've already ordered that little red dress for you," again the guilty look made an appearance.

"I'll pay you back," said Emily automatically, popping a ravioli in her mouth an grimacing slightly.

"Its fine, if our Boss man is happy then cost, in my opinion, is no issue," said Garcia seriously, taking a large slurp from her smoothie for emphasis.

"I can't believe you want me to seduce our boss," sighed Emily.

"No, not seduce. You need to get his interest and then he can make the next move. He has to make the first move," said Garcia, speaking like a general commanding troops than a friend organising a seduction.

"How will I do that?" asked Emily, not really liking where this was going.

"Well…" started Garcia.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Okay I have to say that this was initially going to be serious but my inner (hopefully good) comic couldn't resist. I've never written anything like this before and I hope you want me to continue, I'm quite enjoying it!_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds._

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes contained within this chapter._

_Please Review!_


	2. Chapter 2

"No! There is not a snowballs chance in hell of that happening!" exclaimed Emily, her eyes frozen in terror as the thought fully bloomed in her mind.

"Come on, Morgan would be fine with it," pleaded Garcia, taking a slice of her strawberry cheesecake - Emily thought she was having one of her 'theme days' as the empty strawberry and kiwi smoothie glass stood proudly beside the plate.

"He's like my brother, that would be wrong on so many levels!"

"Do you want to shag Hotch or not?" asked Garcia.

"Have I missed something?" asked Morgan, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he sat down next to Garcia. Emily put her head in her hands, this couldn't get anymore embarrassing, seriously!

"You were meant to be here in ten minutes!" hissed Garcia, seeing the effect his presence was having on her friend.

"And I couldn't face the thought of ten minutes without you," replied Morgan smoothly, helping himself to a bite of her cheesecake.

"You're lucky you're sexy or you would be officially dead," growled Garcia, eying his lips as he licked of the cream.

"How much did you hear?" groaned Emily, unable to listen to the flirtatious banter when she wasn't sure if she could show her face in the office again without seeing Morgan's smug expression.

"Enough," came the teasing reply.

"To know…" she pressed, a blush forming over her cheeks as his face took on an amused expression.

"Enough to know that you think of a Unit Chief along with a certain desk and some activities," said Morgan, a smile playing about his lips as he put emphasis on 'activities'. Emily wanted to slap him, or, more preferably pull her gun out and shoot him. However she wouldn't like to explain to Strauss why she shot an agent in public _"Yes he discovered I wanted to shag my boss, you know the man you hate, senseless on his desk"_ she could picture Strauss's reaction. Hmm it might be worth it…

"Stop imagining shooting him," said Garcia, waving her fork at her. Damn! The woman was a mind reader! Seeing Morgan's smirk she felt her fingers itch for her gun.

"So what do you need me for?" asked Morgan.

"We need you to chat up Emily to make Hotch jealous," replied Garcia simply.

"Baby girl, you know I'd do anything you ask but-"

"No buts, buts equal vengeful Goddess," said Garcia, poison lacing her words.

"Do I get anything for doing this?" asked Morgan, seeing there was no way out.

"You get to know your friend is happy," answered Garcia sweetly.

"Wait! Your not actually going along with this!" asked Emily, slightly hysterical.

"My hands are tied," said Morgan, looking a little afraid when he looked at Garcia.

"Good, we have a plan then," said Garcia happily finishing her dessert.

* * *

><p>"Emily, can I speak with you for a moment?" asked Hotch, retreating to his office. Emily gulped, ever since that day in the restaurant she had been having trouble looking her boss in the eye, something he no doubt had noticed. A plane flew onto her desk, there scrawled in Morgan's handwriting was the words 'BUSTED'. Looking over at him, she saw that he was smirking and making kissy signs at her. Crumpling up the plane she threw it at him, all the while thanking her mother for the netball lessons when it hit him in the face.<p>

"What's up?" asked JJ, coming in with an armful of files just to see Morgan being hit.

"Oh nothing," replied Emily sweetly.

"Hotch wants to see her," said Morgan, his eyes shining with amusement.

"Oh!" exclaimed JJ, a devilish grin splayed on her normally angelic face.

"Shut up!" mumbled Emily.

"PRENTISS," came Hotch's voice.

"Shit!" cursed Emily whilst Morgan and JJ laughed.

Standing up, she walked quickly across the bullpen and up to _his_ office. Knocking, she heard the familiar "Come in". Seeing him sit behind his desk, Emily gulped, trying not to picture what thoughts she'd had about _that_ desk.

"What did you want to see me about sir?" asked Emily, trying to be suave and failing miserably when she hit her arm off the door handle. Wincing she closed it behind her, trying to hide her discomfort. The amusement flashing in his eyes showed her just how great an actress she could have been.

"Have I done something to offend you? You seem to have been avoiding me for the past few days and I'm worried," asked Hotch, the amusement replaced with concern.

"No!" she almost screamed at him, "No nothing sir, I've just been tired that's all". _Another stunning display of acting Emily._

"Maybe it will do you good to unwind. Have you heard of the night out Garcia has planned? Maybe it will be a good idea to attend," nothing but concern swirled in his brown eyes.

_Don't think of the desk. Don't think of the desk. Don't think of the desk._

"Yes, I don't think I have much choice. Whatever it is cannot be worse than her wrath," joked Emily, cringing at how uncomfortable she felt.

"I'm counting on it," smiled Hotch.

"Your going then?"

"Yes or I quote 'I will be called honey for all foreseeable cases and Jack may get a puppy from some anonymous gift giver.'"

"Ouch, using your child against you," winced Emily, imagining how much fun Jack would have with a puppy.

"I know, despite how dangerous the unsubs we hunt are, I think Penelope Garcia could give them a run for their money," said Hotch, half serious.

"I would say I have to agree."

"Everything is alright though?" asked Hotch once more.

"Yes sir, everything is fine," replied Emily.

"Alright. Hand this to Morgan when you get back, he never signed it," said Hotch, handing her a report.

"Of course sir," said Emily, leaving the office whilst glowering at the door knob. Traitor.

"What did he want Prentiss? I heard screeches," asked Morgan, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"Nothing Morgan, Hotch wanted me to give this to you, you forgot to sign it," replied Emily, handing him the file before sitting down and ready to tackle her paperwork. Signing off yet another case report she leaned back and stretched. Watching as another plane sailed onto her desk. Scribbled on the wing was 'LIAR'. Smirking, Emily grabbed a pen and started writing:

_'He wanted to have his way with me on the desk. To cut a long and juicy story short, your report is now... well the less said the better really'_

Throwing it back, it veered of course and landed next to Reid.

"If you hadn't written on it it wouldn't have changed trajectory like that," said Reid, placing his mug of coffee on his desk and picking it up. Glancing at the writing the young genius blushed a little before reaching the end, smirking and handing it to Morgan.

"Great aim Prentiss," teased Morgan, grabbing the note and scanning it. Reaching the end he looked between the plane and the note, horror evident on his face and growing more pronounced at each look. Unable to contain herself Emily started laughing and Reid soon joined in catching Morgan's attention.

"Very funny guys!" exclaimed Morgan, however Emily detected a hint of relief on his face and tried not to smirk.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Wow thanks for the feedback! I don't think I've ever had that many reviews for a first chapter before! I'm thinking that unless I get some inspiration that this might just be a three-shot, I've never done this before so I don't know how far I'll take it but right now all I have planned is the next chapter. Anyhoo I hope you enjoyed this, the next chapter will be longer I promise :)_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds._

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes present in this chapter._

_Please Review!_


	3. Chapter 3

Emily looked in the mirror, eyeing her appearance critically. It was game time and she knew she looked good. The dress clung to her slender frame, plunging at the neck and giving her ample cleavage. Doing a twirl, she peeked over her shoulder, and satisfied with the results started on her make-up. At work she just wore the standard mascara and foundation but tonight she'd opted to add a little eyeliner and lipstick. Not too much, she never wanted to look like a slut. There, just perfect.

"Are you ready?" came Garcia's voice at the other side of the door. Emily had banned her from the bedroom, not wanting the mother hen to fuss over her.

"Nearly," she called back, exiting the bathroom and sitting on her bed. Rummaging around she knew she had left them somewhere. Ah, found them. Pulling the small black heels out from under the bed, she put them on, extending her leg and liking the effect. Grabbing her jacket she draped it over her arms and picked up her bag. The door was shaking a little bit now, Garcia was probably itching to see her. _Hmm would it be cruel to let her sweat a little? Yes. Would that stop me? No._

Decided, Emily went back into the bathroom and brushed her teeth for the second time. Couldn't be too careful, and she was relishing the effect she was having on her bubbly co-worker. Wiping her mouth she looked at the clock and saw it was almost seven. Shit.

Wrenching open the door, she heard Garcia squeal in delight when she saw her.

"I knew it would be perfect, I just knew it!" she grinned.

"Hotch better like it," grumbled Emily, making her way out of the flat. Garcia followed, the cheerful woman was dressed in a magenta baby doll dress with black tights and matching heels. They clacked along the tiles as she ran to catch up, popping into the elevator at the last minute.

"JJ said she would meet us there, Will is looking after Henry for the night. Morgan, Reid and Rossi said that they would bring Hotch. In fact," the technical analyst looked at her watch, "they are probably waiting on us."

"Great, nervous and late," groaned Emily.

"It will be fine." assured Garcia, "Besides we look gorgeous of I do say so myself, they won't know what's hit them."

* * *

><p>Emily would like to say that she entered the club smoothly. That she strutted over to the table and got the attention of every male around her. That Hotch's eyes bugged when he saw her. What she wanted to forget was that it was a disaster. That she tripped on her way to the table. That it had to be Hotch who caught her. That everyone smiled in that infuriatingly patronising way that just screamed<em> "That our Emily, she's always been a little bit special." <em>She wished she had her gun_.  
><em>

Gathering herself together, she saw that they were all in fact there. Great.

Sitting down next to Morgan, she noticed that she was directly opposite Hotch. It was dark and strobe lights illuminated everyone. The air was thick as people danced, moving as one like some strange organism. The beat was rather catchy and Emily found herself tapping along as she drank the vodka that Garcia had 'helpfully' provided. Catching Hotch's eye she knocked her shot back, feeling the burn make its way slowly down her throat. Christ he looked hot. He was wearing a dark green t-shirt and black jeans that clung in all the right places. Even better he wasn't even aware of how sexy he looked. Glancing around, Emily saw a couple of women eye him up and got the urge to have her way with him right then and there the team be damned. He. Was. Hers. Okay admittedly not yet, but she still never liked them looking at him as if he were some juicy steak.

"Emily wanna dance?" asked Morgan, taking her hand, she saw the glint in his eyes however and tried not to roll her eyes.

"Think you can keep up with me?" she retorted.

"Let's find out," replied Morgan grinning. Standing up they melted into the dance floor, the occupents moving to accommodate them as they felt the beat pulse through them.

_Its not Morgan. Its part of the plan. Its not Morgan. Its part of the plan. Its not Morgan._

She kept chanting this as they steadily moved closer. Hearing catcalls from the table she grinned and leant her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat to sooth her nerves. She imagined it was Hotch holding her, gathering her to his chest and moving slowly with her. Looking over Morgan's shoulder the spell broke when she saw _him_ looking directly at her. His eyes were burning with an intensity she had never seen before, and then, just like that it was gone, replaced with an impassiveness that chilled her. However soon warmth flooded her system when she realised what this meant.

He _liked_ her.

He liked her and he wasn't going to show it unless he was pushed to the edge. Only half aware of what she was doing she grabbed the front of Morgan's shirt and dragged his mouth down to hers. He gasped in surprise and she took this chance to deepen the kiss. Immediately he complied, his brain joining the dots to see what she was trying to do. He took control and she felt his arms wrap around her waist as he pulled her up to him, moulding to her body.

It quickly turned into a contest, both trying to make the other the most flustered. Raking a hand down his back she felt him shudder as he chuckled slightly. Damn he was ticklish! He however tangled his fingers in her hair, tugging slightly on the raven strands. Moaning she cursed him, how did he know! He grinned as he pulled away. Bastard.

Looking over at Hotch though she saw to her delight that he was conversing with Rossi, his hands however were clenched into fists, his knuckles white as he struggled to maintain his composure. However she was slightly disappointed. That was the best she could do bar shagging Morgan in front of him, and there was absolutely no way she was going there. She was already slightly sickened by kissing him.

Getting more drinks, they sat back down. Garcia was grinning as was JJ. Reid just looked confused and Rossi was calming Hotch down, but the glimmer in his eyes made Emily know he was in on it. Garcia and JJ went next, both attracting attention from the male populace. Rossi soon joined them leaving Morgan and Emily with Hotch and Reid. When Emily thought the tension couldn't get any worse Morgan was called up by Garcia.

"Do you mind if I go?" he asked Emily.

"Of course, I'm sure it won't be as bad as her revenge if you never," replied Emily, surprise that he would ask her.

"True," winced Morgan, remembering his missing pay check.

With the awkwardness rising, Reid looked longingly at the others who, judging by the yells and laughs were having a great time. Emily felt sorry for the young genius but was far too focused on Hotch's lips when he sipped his scotch. The way they brushed the glass as he drank the amber liquid...

Reid cleared his throat, effectively ending Emily's musings. "I'm going to go and join them," he stammered, before getting up and walking away quickly.

"So Emily, how long have you and Morgan been dating?" asked Hotch, sipping his scotch.

"We're not dating," said Emily suddenly, sipping her vodka. However invented the stuff was God in her mind.

"Then why did you kiss him?" asked Hotch, his eyebrows knitting together and clearly not believing her.

"I... felt like it," replied Emily. _Great, now I sound like a slut. Wait, on second thoughts its better than him thinking you're obsessed... with him. Yes, definitely the best response._

"Well if you ever do date remember to inform the Bureau. If Strauss catches you and you haven't it's a one way ticket to a sexual harassment seminar," said Hotch, draining the last of his scotch, wincing a little at the burn.

"I'm not dating him!" exclaimed Emily. Either he was thick or the alcohol was messing with her communication abilities. Actually given the fact that she had just screamed at him she thought it was more likely the latter.

"I won't tell," said Hotch quietly whilst checking his watch, "Right I better get going, Jessica could only stay until nine."

"Oh... right, have a good holiday," said Emily, slightly hurt by the quick exit.

"You too, say bye to the others for me," said Hotch, putting his jacket on.

Watching him walk away Emily mentally cursed whatever deity was watching over her. Out of all the things to happen he thought she was dating Morgan! She shuddered at the thought. When Garcia found out she was going to fall apart and when she told everyone else... Groaning at the image, Emily downed her vodka and went back on the dance floor to save Reid.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for the feedback! I've thought about it and this isn't the last chapter, there will be at least two more - thank goodness for inspiration, I'm having too much fun writing this to stop now! Could you tell by the quick update! :)  
><em>

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds._

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes._

_Please Review!_


	4. Chapter 4

"My team, report to the conference room," Hotch's voice echoed throughout the bullpen. Groaning, Emily stood up, avoiding eye contact with Morgan when he threw her a smile - things had been a little awkward between them since what had now become known as 'The Incident'. Reid, oblivious to how uncomfortable both of them were, grabbed his coffee mug and followed them, habitually taking his bag with him.

Sitting down, Emily saw JJ was already there. Her friend offered her a tentative smile before chatting to Reid. Emily thought it was sweet how well the two of them got on. Perhaps she would try a little matchmaking there herself since her friends attempts at matchmaking had failed so miserably. They had just finished a case and everyone looked exhausted, so far everything was normal. A prickling on the back of her neck however told Emily this was anything but.

This was confirmed when Garcia entered the room, a sleepy looking Rossi close behind.

Hotch wasn't there.

Counting to five and sure enough the Unit Chief entered followed by... Strauss? Okay, now Emily was confused.

"This really isn't necessary," Hotch was telling her, it was all in vain. When it was clear he was getting nowhere, he sat down, defiance still lingering in his brown eyes. Whatever it was it most certainly wasn't good.

"Now, this is highly uncommon with such a... skilled component of the FBI but we have received some concerning reports. It appears that on your last case there was a disturbance and in order to uphold the reputation of the Bureau we need to iron it out. Due to this I am sending you on a training course, it will be like the ones that you experienced in your BAU training however instead of working individually you shall be working together. If your instructor feels that there are any problems concerning inter-team camaraderie there will be further action," her shark-like eyes landed on Hotch and Emily was sure that if she had an axe he would be dead. Hotch saw this too for he looked down at the table, pretending to be submissive. The only indication that he was angry as the slight tensing of his jaw.

Emily felt rather bad. The complaint was obviously about her throwing coffee over Morgan when he put his arm around her. The git knew Hotch suspected they were dating and did _that_! Granted she may have over reacted but still! The knowing look JJ had sent her had been the last straw. No, it wasn't _her_ fault it was _his_. The looks the team sent her said otherwise.

"When will this take place?" asked Hotch.

"Tomorrow, the Bureau takes complaints seriously and we want this rectified as soon as possible. Do you have anymore questions?"

"Where is it?" asked Morgan.

"You will meet here at eight, we will have a conference room set up for you," answered Strauss, checking her watch, "Good luck," she added before leaving the room.

"Well done Emily," said Morgan sarcastically.

"Actually I think this might be a good opportunity and we should utilise it as much as possible," said Hotch. Emily tried not to smile at him coming to her defence.

"Do you think they'll supply coffee?" asked Reid, clutching his mug protectively, reminding Emily oddly of Golem in Lord of the Rings.

"They should do, if they want it to be realistic that is," replied Rossi, smiling at the young genius.

"Everyone work on case files today and co-operate. Strauss is right, the team dynamic has been slightly off balanced these past couple of weeks, whatever is wrong I want it fixed," said Hotch, effectively dismissing them.

Emily smirked slightly as she left, wondering what Hotch's face would look like if he found out that he was the problem.

* * *

><p>"Hello everyone, I am Agent Jameson and your Section Chief has asked me to supervise you. Inside this room is a simulation of a crime scene. You are to see how much you can discover about the unsub from it," Jameson looked at them all, the smile on his face akin to that of a children's summer camp worker: enthusiastic but totally fake. Running his fingers through his curly brown hair, Emily tried not to smile at the nervous image their supervisor presented.<p>

"Why are we here then?" asked Garcia, pointed to herself and JJ.

"Because, as integral parts of the team it is important to see how your co-workers operate so you can understand their methods and work better together. You too will have activities that use your skills and they will also have to participate. Now on we go," Jameson ushered them into the seminar room/crime scene.

Emily tried not to laugh at how fake it all looked. A dummy lay in the centre of the room, blood oozing from its neck where the throat was presumably cut. Bloody footprints led to the window that was open, sending a cold blast of air into the otherwise warm room. A note was clasped in the dummy's hand, a terrified look on it's face that was almost comical. Emily was sure the stacked up tables and chairs were meant to be there. That there was supposed to be a coffee machine in the corner and mugs balanced precariously on top of it. Biting her lip she tried not to laugh, the urge even harder to ignore when Reid's eyes lit up upon seeing the coffee machine.

"I will stand back and watch you, tell me when you are ready to present a profile," said Jameson, writing a few notes on his clipboard and standing by the coffee machine.

Looking at Hotch, Emily tried to read his expression but it was like staring at a brick wall. He had entered Agent Hotchner mode and slowly everyone else did the same. Ignoring the shabbiness of the simulation they began exploring the scene.

"Well the footprints show us that the unsub doesn't care about getting caught. He's egotistical and either planned this incredibly badly or it was a spontaneous assault," said Morgan, analysing the shoe marks.

"Pass me a pen," said Reid, Emily handed him one and he pried out the note, careful to pick it up with the sleeve of his cardigan.

"What does it say?" asked Hotch, looking at the dummy's 'wound'.

"It is made with cuttings from a newspaper and says, 'You will pay,'" said Reid.

"Gangland violence?" asked Emily.

"Possibly, the victim looks scared and so this note spooked them," said Hotch.

"Not the fact that they were faced with some lunatic carrying a knife?" asked Morgan, smiling as they all entered professional mode.

"No, the wound is deeper towards the left, indicating the unsub is left handed. Also to get this type of wound he have had to drag it around, if it was from the front it would have been more even and so it had to have been from behind," replied Hotch.

"But how did he get in without the victim knowing?" asked JJ.

"The window is open, is it possible that he waited until the victim was out, broke the latch and lay in wait?" replied Emily.

"That would explain the lack of defensive wounds on the victim, they wouldn't have known he was there," said Hotch.

"Are you ready to give the profile?" asked Jameson.

Looking at his team, Hotch nodded and Jameson walked over to them, running his fingers through his hair again.

"We are looking for a man between twenty and forty, possibly involved in gang violence and so should have previous," said Morgan.

"He is egotistical, because of this he has a higher chance of slipping up. He will think a lot of himself, lashing out when someone goes against what he has said," continued Prentiss.

"He deals in scare tactics, often trying to intimidate others. Because of this he has deep set insecurities, perhaps he was bullied as a child, feels he is inadequate in some way. Due to the nature of the attack it is probably physically, if he were stronger he wouldn't have had to attack from behind," interjected Rossi.

"He plans ahead, hates it when things get out of his control. He wants to feel all powerful and being in the victims house, tainting their things helps him feel this way," said Reid.

"He will eventually become consumed by the feel of power the kills give him and strike again. What was a one time assignment for a gang could end up in a killing spree," finished Hotch.

"Well done, I'm sure you need your coffee, feel free to use the machine and then report to room 118 for the next stage," said Jameson, taking notes before leaving the room.

Once he was gone they all headed for the machine, hearing a yelp followed by a thump they turned round. Reid was sprawled on the floor, fake blood all over his shoes as he pulled himself up.

"Someone's eager," teased Morgan, earning a glare from the young genius.

"Reid, that's contaminating a crime scene. I'm going to have to pull you up on that," said Hotch, using his best serious voice.

"Shut up you!" laughed Emily, the words out before she could even think.

"Emily, telling your supervisor to shut up, that's worth being sent to the principals office," said Garcia, grinning suggestively.

"Wouldn't that be Strauss?" asked Reid, innocently.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for the feedback! I know this wasn't as funny as the other ones, the next chapter will make up for that I promise. _

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds but I wish I owned Hotch._

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes contained within this chapter._

_Please Review!_


	5. Chapter 5

"What. The. Hell?" asked Morgan.

"You have to track this toy car throughout the building, there is a cell phone inside it so it should be fairly easy," said Jameson, running his hands through his hair once more, a sheen of sweat forming on his forehead.

"Easy!" asked Reid, eying the computers as if they would become feral and attack at any minute.

"This will help you appreciate what Technical Analyst Garcia has to do on a daily basis. By understanding her work method you will know what and what not to expect from her," explained Jameson, wiping his forehead. Emily realised that he was more like a summer camp worker faced with a bunch of 'problem children' with only a shadow of the enthusiasm he had shown earlier in the morning.

"Couldn't we just ask her?" asked Rossi, looking at the machines with much the same expression as Reid.

"No, in order to fully understand and appreciate a team member one must know what that team member goes through day to day," said Jameson firmly, trying to re-assert his authority. One of Hotch's glares was enough to make him quickly abandon this.

"The sooner we do this the sooner we can get out of here," said Hotch, sighing and heading over to one of the monitors. Emily followed him and watched the others slowly do the same as Jameson left the room with the car.

Switching it on, she stared at the screen hoping that something would come up and tell her what to do. Where was the talking paperclip icon when she needed it!

"So, anyone know what to do?" asked Morgan. Looking around she saw that Rossi and Reid were still trying to figure out how to switch the computer on, the genius looking over at Garcia's monitor, a hopeful expression on his features that was rapidly dimming as her screen changed so quickly. Hotch was fairing a little better, as was JJ. They had both gotten to the welcome page, the FBI logo blaring on their screens, however both seemed stumped on how to get past it.

"Yes!" exclaimed Reid as the screen lit up.

"How did you do that?" asked Rossi, pulling a cable out of the back and looking at it like it was an alien.

"I pressed this button," said Reid, pointing to the 'on' button.

"Where does this go then?" asked Rossi, waving the cable about.

"Your guess is as good as mine," replied Reid, staring mistrustfully at his screen. He may have gotten email to appease the FBI but that did not mean he liked technology.

"Hey guys! Check this out!" yelled Morgan, Reid and Rossi ambled over to his computer and Morgan turned the volume up.

_"Your so tight,"_ came a gruff man's voice from the speakers.

_"Oh God you feel so good!"_ came a high pitched woman's voice followed by breathy pants and the sound of flesh on flesh.

"Is that even possible?" asked Reid, a mixture of fascination and embarrassment clouding his features.

"Trust me, it is," said Rossi.

"Dave I did not need that image," groaned Hotch, staring at the monitor with such an intensity Emily was surprised it didn't catch fire. In that moment though, Emily was glad she hadn't approached the screen, she was having a hard enough time not looking at Hotch and wishing they were the ones uttering the sighs and moans emanating from the speakers.

_Focus Emily. Don't think of Hotch and sex. Focus Emily. Don't think of Hotch and sex._

"Right, done!" exclaimed Garcia.

"What! Already?" asked JJ, swivelling around and looking incredulously at the technical analyst.

"I am not the oracle of all-knowing for no reason," replied Garcia, stretching back luxuriously.

"Baby girl, please I will forever be indebted-" started Morgan.

"Oh no my chocolate God, you have to do this by yourself," said Garcia, grinning like the cat that got the cream.

"This is impossible, there are so many more things I'd rather be doing!" groaned Emily, she'd started playing solitaire to distract herself from her peverted mind, even the cards seemed to be mocking her ineptitude with a computer.

"It is not impossible ma soeur, in fact it is quite simple," said Garcia, twirling a strand of hair round her finger.

"Not all of us got to go to Cal Tech," retorted Emily.

"Hey this is actually getting quite good," said Morgan, his eyes glued to his computer screen. Emily was glad he had put his headphones on.

"Garcia I order you to tell me how to do this," said Hotch, using his best stare.

"Nope, sorry sir but rules are rules," came the perky reply.

"Something happened!" yelled Emily, happily pressing keys at random. She'd been surfing randomly after having given up on the card game - she swore it was rigged - and had even went so far as to type in 'how to trace a mobile phone' into google.

"What do you have Prentiss?" asked Hotch, approaching her station. Emily tried not to shiver when she felt him lean on the back of her chair. His breath ghosted over her neck, blowing a few strands of her hair into her face. His cologne was spicy, not too strong but not unnoticeable either, the perfect balance. Realising he was waiting for an answer, Emily jerked a little as her mind caught up, even more thankful that Morgan was using speakers, she never needed anymore motive to jump him.

"It says that if I type in the number it will trace it," she replied, a little flustered.

"Its worth a try," said Hotch, his dark eyes roaming the screen, a small amount of hope contained in the brown irises.

Typing in the number, Emily pressed enter and waited.

"I wouldn't have done that if I were you," said Garcia, coming up behind them.

"Why?" asked Emily and Hotch together.

"Well for a start its hypertext transfer protocol isn't secure and well this site just screams dodgy," answered Garcia.

"How?" again in unison.

"The flashy displays, the format tell me you guys noticed how fake that looked?" asked Garcia, looking between the two agents.

"What will happen?" asked Hotch.

"That," said Garcia, pointing to the screen where a flashing sign had came up saying 'Virus detected'.

"Shit!" cursed Emily.

"What can we do?" asked Hotch.

"It should be easy to fix," said Garcia.

"I'm sensing a but," interjected Emily.

"I'm more inclined to let you stew a little bit. Call it a lesson for being so behind with the times," with that the bubbly woman made her way back to her station.

"JJ what are you doing?" asked Reid, moving away from Rossi and Morgan, their eyes still glued to the screen.

"Trying to phone Will, he'd know what to do," replied JJ, clutching her phone so hard her knuckles were white.

Just then the door opened revealing an exasperated Agent Jameson. Emily was surprised he wasn't tearing his hair out.

"What the hell did you do?"

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for the feeback! I know this chapter is a lot shorter than the others but it was mainly dialogue, and without giving them monologues that would have been worthy of Shakespeare I don't think I could have made it much longer! I have no idea about computers so any computer related information that I gave in this chapter is not reliable, its just what google told me! However I did find sites that track mobile phones so that isn't made up.  
><em>

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds, but I wish I owned Hotchner! Wait, no, he's mine *scary lawyers and human rights activists approach* Fine, I'll give him back *grumble*  
><em>

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes._

_Please Review!_


	6. Chapter 6

Several lectures on what not to do with computers later and they were allowed to go to lunch. Emily wanted to go to the new Italian place that had opened on the corner and somehow, through a lot of meddling on Garcia's part and Morgan's loved of fast food, she found that she was going with Hotch. Alone.

She had to admit, watching him eat his spaghetti was making her think the kind of thoughts that would make a nun blush. His tongue flicked out to catch a bit of the sauce that had landed on the corner of his lips and Emily tried not to stare, wishing she was that sauce splodge.

_'Chill Emily, wishing you were pasta sauce is not healthy'_ she thought, popping a meatball into her mouth and pulling the fork out slowly. If she wasn't hallucinating or had somehow gone to heaven then she was sure Hotch's eyes lingered on the silverware just a fraction of a second too long.

"I can't believe we did that to the computer," he said, starting conversation to make up for his early lapse in concentration.

"Well given some of the things I did in IT at school, I'm sure it isn't really surprising," replied Emily, taking a sip of her lemonade.

"Like what?" asked Hotch, his curiosity roused.

"No way, I'm not going to tell you about my embarrassing moments unless you tell me one of yours too," said Emily, smiling as he pondered her challenge before taking another bite.

"Deal, I'm sure you've done worse things than me," said Hotch finally, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Actually I probably have. Well there was the time a friend and I were in the library at college and we were trying to look up a video from a film. The only quote I remembered was 'big rack' and so I typed it into google. We got thrown out for looking up porn," Emily grinned as Hotch started laughing. It was the first time she had heard him laugh in ages and it raised her hopes. If she could elicit this reaction out of the normally stoic man, then surely there was hope for them.

"Okay, I don't think I can top that one. There was one time at school when I was in class. It was biology and we were learning terminology. My mind was a bit boggled because I never got much sleep and so at the end of the lesson when the teacher asked if I was alright I said I felt a bit flaccid without even thinking," Hotch's cheeks were tinged a slight red and Emily snorted into her drink. _Sexy Emily, sexy._

"I think that tops mine," said Emily, now it was Hotch's turn to choke._ Oh God, of all the things I could have said it had to be an innuendo._

Hotch's phone rang, the shrill ring earning them disapproving stares from the other diners.

"Hotchner," he answered, his voice a little hoarse from choking. "Dave don't, we've had this discussion," there was a pause and Emily wondered what the older profiler had said to him, "Right we'll be there in ten," Hotch hung up.

"What did Rossi want?" asked Emily, draining her drink, the ice cubes clinking against the cool glass as they tumbled to the bottom.

"Jameson wants us back, apparently he's not in a very good mood," replied Hotch, dabbing at his mouth with a napkin before calling over a waiter and asking for the bill.

"Does he remind you of a summer camp worker?" asked Emily, fishing for her purse.

Hotch grinned. "A little now that you mention it, just another reason I'm not letting Jack go to one. Here I can get it," he added, noticing her taking out a couple of notes.

"No, we go halves, my mother always told me not to let a man pay for everything," said Emily, wishing she could bite off her tongue now that she realised what she had said. _Great, now I've implied this is a date._

"Well my mother used to tell me to be chivalrous," retorted Hotch, another smile trying to form.

"This isn't the renaissance," said Emily, placing her money on the little tray the waiter had brought back.

"Duly noted," said Hotch, conceding defeat and depositing his own money along with a tip.

Putting her jacket on, Hotch waited until she had buttoned it up before leaving. As he held the door open for her, she tried not to smile. A girl could get used to this.

* * *

><p>"Did you have fun?" asked Garcia, bounding up to Emily as soon as she entered the conference room. Only now the dummy was gone along with the blood.<p>

"Yeah it was a really nice restaurant, wasn't it Hotch?" replied Emily.

"It was, I think I may go back there," Emily thought she imagined the twinkle in his eyes.

"Right, good you're all here. The last activity of the day is to look at what Agent Jareau does. As a media liaison officer she chooses the cases that you do but also goes and speaks to the press. Since you already speak in front of the officers at the various police departments you go to there is no need for you to do public speaking. However I have been instructed to give you all five case files each. Out of the five you are to decide where you would most want the team to go. This carries a heavy emotional burden too and so I want you to remember that as you look through them," said Jameson, indicating a stack of files on the table at the back. Everyone bit back a groan, "You have an hour and a half."

"More of a prison guard now," whispered Hotch, Emily tried not to shudder.

"I guess we've pushed him to his limit," said Emily quietly, trying not to chuckle. The stern expression Jameson had adopted did indeed make him look as if he were looking after convicts and not trained FBI agents.

Sitting down, Emily leafed through her files half heartedly. The only thing that made this better was that she was sitting next to Hotch. His expression was the same as ever, but Emily caught a hint of boredom behind the brown orbs. Looking around she saw that everyone looked about as happy about this as she felt. They were used to seeing these images and the idea of looking at more as part of an exercise was not appealing. The only one whose features had a hint of sadness was Garcia, the Technical Analyst's face contorting in horror as her eyes took in the sight of mutilated bodies.

Finally Emily got to the last file, her eyes tired with the reading and emotional rollercoaster she had been on. Normally she was good at detachment but the knowledge that she could only pick one of these cases was new to her and sliced through her mental walls. She almost jumped when she felt a comforting hand on her arm. Glancing up, she saw Hotch look at her. His eyes were misted over with concern, and Emily was sure that it never took a profiler to figure out what was wrong with her. She smiled at him, but that only made the worry deepen. On second thoughts that smile was probably more of a grimace.

"Okay are you finished?" asked Jameson, walking over and sitting on the other side of Hotch.

"Yes," chorused around the room and they began to give their presentations. Emotionally drained and incredibly tired, they all left the room on the promise that they would hear from Strauss tomorrow if they had passed the evaluation.

Grabbing her bag from her desk, Emily smiled when Morgan asked her if she wanted to go to the pub. Declining, she watched them leave, preferring her own company for tonight.

"Emily can I have a word?" asked Hotch, poking his head around his office door. Complying, she walked up, wondering what this was about.

"Please close the door behind you," said Hotch, looking up from his files. Did the man ever sleep?

"What do you want?" asked Emily, closing the door and glaring at the door handle. She hadn't forgotten what happened last time. In fact, she was more than sure it was etched into her memory, the cringe worthy section to be more specific.

"I really enjoyed our lunch today and I was wondering if you would like to do it again," said Hotch, looking her straight in the eye. Emily gulped, never had she imagined that this would happen. Hotch however took her silence to mean the opposite, "I mean if I've read the signs wrong then-"

"What? No, you haven't. I would love to do it again," replied Emily, a blush growing on her ivory skin. Hotch seemed relieved, the sign was small but the fact that she noticed it made her smile.

"I'm almost done here, if you wait ten minutes we could grab dinner," suggested Hotch, glancing at his report apologetically.

"Where do you fancy?" asked Emily, anticipation coiling in her stomach and suddenly she wished she had dressed up more this morning.

"Well I did say I wanted to go back to the Italian place..."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for the feedback! I hope this was alright, I think its more romance than anything else and I've written anything like this before :S The embarrassing moments they mentioned Emily's one is roughly what happened to me, except it was in a classroom and we never got kicked out since we managed to get it off the screen quick enough. Hotch's one happened to a guy in my Biology class, that was a good day XD_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds and Hotch escaped, tis a sad day._

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes._

_Please Review!_


	7. Chapter 7

Emily tried not to smile as she walked into the BAU. Placing her bag at her desk she went to the kitchen area and got herself a coffee. She was acting normal. A plane landed on her desk narrowly missing her drink. Picking it up, she flipped it over, the word 'SPILL' appearing in big black letters. Glancing at Morgan, she saw he had a smug grin on his face. _Well at least now I know why that college acting troupe rejected me._

Writing back 'NOTHING', she threw the plane back but it veered off course hitting their Unit Chief in the head.

"I told you to stop writing on these things," said Reid, stirring his coffee. Despite the weary tone, Emily saw a smile play about his lips.

"What is the meaning of this?" asked Hotch, scanning the note, humour hidden deep in his dark eyes. Morgan, not seeing this was attempting to become one with his chair... and failing. Emily wondered when she had been able to read him this well. Just knowing she had this ability made her want to grin again._ No, Emily, normal, act normally._

"Nothing Hotch," said Morgan, giving a carefree grin.

"Hmm," said Hotch, looking between them, "Prentiss, my office, now."

Emily glared at Morgan, when Hotch had left she swore she saw him make love hearts with his fingers and pretend to fire arrows between Emily and Hotch's office.

"All you need is the diaper and then you'd be the spitting image," said Emily.

"Actually Cupid was mainly shown nude or with some cloth covering his genitals classical times, the diaper clad Cupid is a relatively modern image," said Reid, blowing on his coffee.

"Now that is something I would like to see my chocolate God," said Garcia, appearing mug in hand from her office.

"If you're lucky princess," said Morgan, winking at her.

"Urgh, I don't need these images," groaned Emily, grimacing slightly.

"Hotch will be waiting, you better go," said Morgan.

"Oh! Really? Spill," squealed Garcia, smiling like a little girl on Christmas.

"That's what I said but she isn't saying anything!" said Morgan exasperated.

"PRENTISS!" Emily wasn't sure if she imagined it but she swore Hotch's voice echoed.

"You better tell me," said Garcia, the glint in her eye making her shiver and not in the good way.

Emily almost ran to his office, and when she shut the door behind her tried not to sigh in relief.

"Why do you look so relieved?" asked Hotch, raising an eyebrow at her dishevelled appearance.

"I just escaped a re-enactment of the Spanish inquisition Garcia style," said Emily, a look of mock terror on her face.

Hotch winced. "Why was she interrogating you?"

"Because she thinks we're dating and trying to hide it from her," replied Emily.

"Aren't we?" Hotch's question pulled her up short.

"Well... yes but," something clicked in Emily's mind, "Hey! I thought you thought I was going out with Morgan?"

"Emily, I think anyone could have seen through that display," came the sarcastic reply.

"So you knew?" asked Emily, shock blooming on her face.

"I think we've already discuss this. Yes I knew about your little plan," said Hotch, his serious tone contrasting with the smile slowly forming.

"Oh dear God," groaned Emily, hiding her face in her hands as if that could somehow make her invisible. _Very mature Emily._

Feeling arms embrace her she nearly jumped. Only years of training helped her control the instinct. Barely. Instead she wrapped her arms around him, still mortified but not going to waste this opportunity to touch him. _Oh and that makes me sound like a pervert._

"I really enjoyed last night, would you like to do it more often," his breath tickled and she tried not to laugh, it would be the icing on the incredibly embarrassing cake if she did that.

"I would like it too," she replied, smiling into his shoulder. Raising her head, she almost head butted him, "Sorry, intimacy was never one of my strong points."

"Mine neither, I'm sure we can teach each other a few things," he murmured.

"Mmm, I like that," she whispered back, craning up and capturing his lips. The kiss was sweet but she could feel the raw passion burning underneath, filling the room with electricity and drawing their bodies closer like magnets. Her tongue touched his bottom lip asking for entrance, whilst her hands tangled in his hair, anchoring him to her. He acquiesced and tentatively she massaged his tongue. Catching onto her nervousness he took control and she relented easily, feeling one of his hands stroke her hair and the other coil round her waist. Vaguely Emily was aware of something hitting the window and a rapping at the door. Her mind however was too hazy to process this, too focused on him and the heat she felt pooling in her stomach. However her buzz was severely hampered by Strauss's voice floating through the office.

"Agent Hotchner, need I remind you about our fraternisation protocol?"

Hotch pulled away, gasping slightly, looking for a moment like a deer caught in headlights before composing himself.

"Of course, we will submit the forms straight away," said Hotch, his serious voice hindered slightly by the red lipstick smeared around his mouth and his tufty hair.

"As for now you will be required to attend a sexual harassment seminar, along with," she consulted her clipboard, "Agents Rossi and Morgan."

"Wait why them?" asked Emily.

"I believe they were watching pornography during the computing part of the assessment". How Strauss managed to say that with a straight face was a mystery to Emily.

"Did we pass?" asked Hotch, cutting to the crux of the matter.

"Yes, you worked in tandem together to Agent Jameson's satisfaction. I will expect you to notify internal affairs immediately about your relationship. Your seminar shall be at seven o'clock on Tuesday please notify the others," Strauss handed Hotch the clipboard and opened the door. The unmistakable voice of Garcia boomed into the office.

"I am not wearing a goddess outfit for you!"

"Add Technical Analyst Garcia to the list," and with that the Section Chief was gone.

"Well this isn't the way I was expecting telling everyone!" laughed Emily.

"I think I'm the first Unit Chief to have four of my subordinates and myself sent to a sexual harassment seminar in one go," groaned Hotch.

"Well... since we're already being sent to one."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for the feedback, I've really enjoyed reading your reviews - fanficlover I'm glad I'm not the only one that's had incidents like that with a computer XD I hope the kiss was alright, I'm not good at writing scenes like that but it was necessary ;)  
><em>

_ **I know I've put it as complete but would you be interested in seeing the seminar? Either as part of this story or a separate fic? **_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds and despite my best interests I haven't been able to track down Hotch, I thought I'd found the trail a few hours ago but it just led me to a dead end. _

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes._

_Please Review!_


	8. Chapter 8

"Sorry we're late we were-" Hotch started.

"SHAGGING IN A CLOSET!" finished Garcia, the rooms occupents chuckled quietly whilst their supervisor looked less than amused.

"That is enough Technical Analyst Garcia, Agents Hotchner and Prentiss, I am Agent Watson. You haven't missed much so please take a seat," Agent Watson looked like he was almost at the end of his rope. His hair was thinning and he had what Emily thought was a permanent frown on his face, probably the product of her colleagues.

The rooms occupents were the opposite. You could easily spot the regulars from the first timers. Those like Morgan, Rossi and Garcia were smirking and trying their hardest to make their supervisor flip. The others were glaring at the regulars as if they wanted to shoot them. Emily noticed to her amusement that some looked ready to bolt from the room and leave this embarrassing and unfortunate incident behind them. Taking a seat next to Hotch and in front of their co-workers, Emily saw that Hotch was amongst this group, looking increasingly more uncomfortable as the seconds ticked by.

Well that just wouldn't do.

Watson was rambling on about how not to touch people. Apparently a hand shake was fine but a prolonged hug wasn't. It was basically a load of nonsense.

"Yes, Agent Prentiss?" Watson paused in his tirade.

"So we can't touch people like this?" she asked innocently, snaking her hand down Hotch's chest and onto his crotch. However she didn't do anymore, she never wanted to embarrass Hotch, her target was their supervisor. It also appeared to be working. Watson looked like he was going to have a heart attack at this display of affection. Eyeing his wedding ring she felt sorry for his wife.

"Prentiss, what are you doing," hissed Hotch, gently removing her hand and placing it on the table.

"Just demonstrating how not to touch someone. I mean some people won't know where the penis is," replied Emily, she swore she saw his lips twitch as he tried to suppress a smile. The group gave a chuckle and Emily saw a few of the first timers glare at her, and surprising at Hotch. They must have thought he was in on it.

"That is enough! To continue..." Emily tuned his out, thankful her skills at tuning Reid out were coming in handy.

"Emily, are you trying to get us in trouble?" whispered Hotch.

"No, I just want to see how far we can push him," answered Emily, smiling slightly.

"We? I believe it was you and not me," retorted Hotch.

"But you enjoyed it," seeing the slightly startled look in his eyes Emily realised she was right. A grin spread across her face.

"Oh no you don't Emily," said Hotch, catching the slightly creepy look blooming on her face.

"Now, making jokes it fine. Making innuendo's is one step away from committing the actual sex act. It sends out a sign-" Watson paused, "What is it Agent Prentiss."

"So double entendres aren't allowed at all?"

"No, they are allowed just severely frowned upon," replied Watson.

"But what if the unsub has killed someone with a lead pipe, we can't say its long, hard and has liquid dripping off it?"

"I am sure there are other words you could use," said Watson, looking smug that he had deflected this remark.

"How about lengthy, thick and with an unidentifiable liquid?" asked Rossi, prompting more laughs.

"To continue," Watson pretended he hadn't heard, however his smug look had slid from his face rather quickly.

"Are you going to take this seriously at all?" asked Hotch.

"No, are you... No, wait don't answer that, you're always serious. You need to loosen up," Hotch's eyes widened as Emily, slide her hand up his back but did nothing to stop her. She felt for a tense muscle, finding an abundance of knots around his shoulders. Massaging one, she felt him tense up more before relaxing slightly. Pressing her advantage, she kneaded it harder, drawing an unwilling moan from his lips.

"Is there anything you want to say Agent Hotchner?" asked Watson, looking at the Unit Chief as if he were a small child and he the weary teacher.

"No," replied Hotch, his normally steady voice wobbling a little as Emily moved onto another spot.

"You're evil," hissed Hotch, when Watson mercifully moved on and Emily stopped her ministrations.

"If you think I'm evil here, wait till you see me in the bedroom," said Emily, smirking.

"I've already seen you in a bedroom," said Hotch.

"You know what I meant," she retorted, hearing Morgan snicker behind them.

"Guns are for shooting people, not for anything else," Watson's voice took on a stern tone as he glared at Agent Rodgers from counter-terrorism.

"Would you ever fuck anyone with a gun?" asked Emily.

"What the hell?" came the shocked reply.

"Would you?" pressed Emily, smirking at his discomfort.

"A loaded gun or an unloaded gun?" Unfortunately Watson took this moment to glance at his notes and Hotch's voice carried across the room.

"How can you fuck someone with an unloaded gun?" asked Morgan, grinning at his innuendo.

"Well-" started Rossi.

"Agent Rossi, we do not need to know this. Now, if you look at these diagrams they will show you what conduct is acceptable in what situations," said Watson, referring to the PowerPoint.

"Dammit!" yelled Garcia as the first image came up, a few others looked a little put out too. The image was an office, a man sat behind the desk whilst a woman stood in front.

"Wait? Have you...?" Hotch trailed off looking between Morgan and Garcia.

"No," replied Morgan a little too quickly.

"Only in your office," said Garcia perkily as Hotch winced and Rossi sighed in relief.

"Remind me to sterilise my desk," muttered Hotch.

"Before you do that..." Emily smiled suggestively at him, seeing his Adam's apple bobble as he gulped.

"Oooh this one looks good, I don't think we've tried that," said Garcia, looking at the image of a woman and man on a plane.

"If you do that I swear I'll-" started Hotch.

"Handcuff me to the radiator?" asked Garcia, raising her eyebrows.

"Actually I think that would be good," said Emily.

"What? Me having sex with Garcia is good!" asked Hotch, looking between the two women.

"Well I think it would be hot, but I'd rather you wanted to have sex with me and leave Garcia to Morgan," replied Emily.

"Fivesome?" suggested Morgan.

"One is enough for a lifetime," said Rossi, laughing as the others cringed.

"I did not put up these pictures to give you ideas on where to copulate!" yelled Watson, finally having found the end of his rope. The regulars looked a little disappointed as the first timers smiled smugly at them.

Their smiles were wiped off when Garcia said rather loudly, "You aren't giving us ideas, we've already done this!"

"And that is why you are in a sexual harassment seminar," retorted Watson.

"Well done, gold star Agent!" exclaimed Emily, clapping her hands excitedly. Now the regulars were grinning at the first timers.

"Now, I hope you have learnt something from this. I don't want to see you here again," he glared at them in a way that was clearly meant to be intimidating, Emily heard Hotch snort, "But I am aware some of you," his eyes lingered on Garcia, "Are unable to contain yourselves. Dismissed."

Everyone stood up, stretching to release the kinks the hard chairs had caused in their backs. The first timers practically ran to the door, relief evident on their faces. The regulars took their time, chatting a little with each other as if they were old friends.

"Well that was fun," said Morgan, yawning.

"I can think of funner things to do," said Garcia, whispering in his ear. Whatever it was it made Morgan's eyes widen a little. Emily decided she never wanted to know. Apparently Hotch too, as he let them walk away without admonishing them for their conduct during the lecture.

"See you tomorrow Dave," said Hotch, smiling at the older profiler.

"Don't get into too much trouble," said Rossi, looking between the two of them. Hotch glared whilst Emily tried not to grin. Two sexual harassment seminars in a week would not be something she wanted to explain to her mother.

As they entered his office, Emily closed the door behind them quietly. Hotch had practically dragged her there so she could do nothing else to torment Watson. None of them wanted to know where Morgan and Garcia had went.

"Sooo what do you want to do tonight?" asked Emily as she sat down in front of his desk. Hotch however remained standing.

"I don't know about you but I have a hard, long object that is dripping with some unidentifiable liquid that could use attending," said Hotch smirking slightly as he leaned back on his desk.

Emily closed the blinds.

* * *

><p><em>AN: ITS FINISHED! Thank you for the feedback! I was surprised at the amount of people who requested this! I hope this lived up to your expectations, I found parts of it hard to write so if there are any mistakes please tell me. Anyhoo thank you for your reviews, favourites and alerts, they've really kept me motivated when writing this :)_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds._

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes contained within this chapter._

_Please Review!_


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